What am I Doing? Part 1

Have you ever spent a day, week, maybe even a month trying to figure out what in the heck you're doing with yourself?

If you have, then you know exactly what I'm going through. For about the past month, month and a half, I've struggled to figure out what it is I'm doing with my life. I find myself struggling to get motivated to work, to workout, or to even enjoy my life. Many days I leave my TV on and it just sits on all day. I don't watch it, I don't change the channel, in fact...I don't even know why it's on, but it is.

This is my life lately and it's scary. What happened to having positive momentum or enjoying life? Is it the people in it that are bringing me down or is it just life in general?

The past 4 years have been rough. From leaving one of the more positive moments in my life and college to going through change after change. Fighting with girlfriends, getting new ones, and even wondering why I don't go back to another one.

Truth is I don't want to go back to them, I'm just a confused mess. My life is scary I went from being one of the most successful college students at Indiana State to struggling to get an entry level job in my career field.

It's a scary thought isn't it? Just look back at the fall of 2009. I had just left a struggling relationship, one which wasn't bad at all...I just checked out and killed it, but now I'm sitting in class the final year of college.

Coming into college I was the goof off, the kid who just skated by, but here I was with a 3.56 GPA and often lead the class in discussion and theory. 

But here I was, my Senior Capstone class of Recreation and Sport Management, and I wondered what I was doing. I disliked the program. It was easy, in fact it was too easy. The field was flooded with "yes" people and non-critical thinkers. From political behind kissers to high school graduates, the field was a mess. Not to mention the Federal Government flushed it down the toilet by cutting it's funding to awful levels.

It was over, I wanted out. But it was too late to leave, I just needed to finish. By the way, I had switched majors twice the year before. I was lucky to even be at this point in college.

The Story Continues Tomorrow....