I Have Missed You Guys

I'm sorry I've gone on a 10-day hiatus. I really am. I've had a lot of thoughts and things crossing my mind over the past 10 days that I haven't been able to fully write or speak about.

To be forthcoming, life has seen one of the biggest twists of fate I've seen in years. I haven't been motivated or driven as I've become in the past week in years. The last time I felt this way I was setting my course for Phoenix, Arizona with the dreams and ambitions of starting all over.

But when I left I screwed it all up. I did the token no-no's:

• Got emotionally close to a girl
• Listened to all of my friends and family who were disappointed in me leaving
• Had a family member who was very sick (this I couldn't control but it didn't help)

I know I can't control that someone was sick, and that makes me sound like a jerk, but it's what happened. I was grateful I came back only because I was able to spend time with him before he passed away later in the summer. I was thankful for that, but everything else happened and I returned for their reasons, not for mine. 

I Guess Change is a Coming

Now that you know this, this has all turned around and smacked me in the mouth over the past month. You're probably wondering what has caused this? I'm not sure what caused this. I think it was a series of things. I think it's been meeting new people, realizing that what I'm doing with my life isn't working right now and I need to find a new start, and realizing that a majority of my friends don't really care or have anything in common with me. 

I'm not saying all of my friends suck, but when newer friends slide to the top really fast that speaks volumes as to what kind of friends I have. I'll admit I can't replace a few of them. They know who they are, we're the ones that get along no matter how long it's been since we spoke. Those are my true friends, I'll never replace them. 

But I can replace those "fake" friends and I have. This has led me to change my course, my thoughts, and most importantly reminded me to do the things that made me happiest. 

Will it lead me to a better, happier life? I'm not sure but I think it's worth the risks. I'm tired of not risking the right things. I risk money, I risk time, I risk myself but I never risk starting over. It scares the living heck out of me. 

So am I going to change or not? 

I think so, to prove it I've already begun to apply to jobs around the US. New York, San Fran, DC...you name a place with an open job and I'm going to give it a shot. 

Do I have a job that I specifically want? 

Heck no, I just want to do something fun. I want to do something different. I'm not looking for a career, I'm looking for a start. Something that I'll be glad I'm doing every day and enjoy it. 

I'm looking for a job that is almost a vacation, something I can do and just be glad I'm doing it. I don't know what that job will be or where it'll be, but it'll be something I'm glad to wake up to everyday. 

Why I think I can do it and do it well 

I didn't go to college and graduate near the top of my class for no reason, I'm smart. I'm capable of doing anything and doing it well. That's why I do everything I do and I make it the best I can make it. 

So...... where's Colby A. Martin going? I don't know, but I will tell you that I'll share my stories with you. I'll bring you a long so that you can be right there next to me the whole time. 

The rough times: I'll share

The good times: I'll share

The big moments that change my life: I'll share

I just want you to be there with me, because that's the best thing I could have. Support, love, and the knowledge that somewhere, someone cares about what I'm doing with my life. 

So thank you for checking the blog everyday, for reading it, for sharing it, and thank you for being my support. I love you guys, I've missed you, and I'll try and make sure to write daily. 

I just have to ask one favor of you, besides reading the blog and sharing it with friends, make sure you click some ads and take advantage of the offers. I've got GoDaddy hosting deals that will be posted, Online Backup deals, Green Man Gaming, Best Buy, and much more. Just use the ads and links for the deals, they can help pay the bills and support me.